Vending Machines Insult the Art of Pizza

I have heard for some time now that they are coming. I suppose until I saw them I was able to live in denial that such a thing could truly happen. Let me get right to the point: there are few things that disgust me more than the thought of pizza from a vending machine. It is just plain wrong for so many reasons. Mainly the following:

1. What will the Neapolitan skilled pizzaioli do for a living if these things start spreading like wildfire across Italy?! Taking away jobs from skilled Italian pizza chefs in a country where jobs are already scarce is asking for trouble.

2. Infrared rays used to make the dough? I don’t know exactly what this entails, but I don’t like the sound of it.

3. What if it is burnt, raw, or just disgusting? Whose face are you supposed to throw it in? (ok I have never thrown a pizza in anyone’s face, but on a few occasions have had to send them back)

4. 5 euro? For 1-2 Euro more you could go to a proper pizzeria with a wood fired oven and have the real thing! Sure, you wouldn’t have it in 2.5 minutes, but maybe 5. What’s the rush? You’re in Italy, take time to stop and appreciate the art and tradition of making authentic Italian pizza.

5. It looks like a frisbee

I am sure I left left out some important reasons but you get the point? Some things belong in vending machines. Canned drinks, chewing gum, candy bars, even hot coffee. Pizza does not. Nor do eggplant alla parmigiana or filet mignon. I agree with the Neapolitan restaurant owner on the video when he says “we should scrap this machine and replace it with a jukebox.  At least then it would have some charm”. If it were up to me, I’d tell those techies up at University of Bologna to invent a machine that can mop floors instead.

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