My Big Fat Italian Honeymoon

Planning a wedding in Italy

Like most weddings, ours took a lot of planning. We were both expats living in Italy, so no matter where we got married there was bound to be some traveling involved for our guests. We decided to keep our wedding on the small side and invited about 50 people to an intimate ceremony just outside Rome on the Lago Albano. A wedding right in Rome would have been wonderful, but the thought of 50 of our friends and relatives let loose in this city was a bit more than I could bear. If no one was robbed, lost, or involved in some other kind of disaster while sightseeing in Rome, it would have been a miracle. Our lovely little convent overlooking the lake, the Castelli Romani wine region, and the town of CastelGandolfo where the Pope has his summer residence seemed like a much more sensible option for us.

The Big Day/Hair Crisis
The wedding itself was everything we dreamed it would be, but not without a few minor disasters. Firstly, when I got to the Italian hair salon I had entrusted to transform me into a gorgeous blushing bride with fabulous hair, I sensed that something was not quite right. There were four stylists and a receptionist just sitting there in the salon, all doing nothing. Granted, from time to time you will find Italians just doing nothing in Rome. There is less of an urgency to be productive here in Italy (especially in the South), but still this seemed a bit extreme. One of them shrugged his shoulders and said "my dear I'm afraid we can't do anything for you, there is no running water". Music to my bride-to-be ears. Down came the tears and with them came some early signs of a nervous breakdown. While I had made my appointment in advance, maybe I forgot to mention that I was GETTING MARRIED that day! Once I informed them of this, the hairdressers knew that there were faced with the challenge of an extreme makeover wedding edition. Three hairstylists yanked, curled, teased, blewdry, and whipped my sorry locks into a hairdo one could get married in, and all without so much as a drop of acqua.

Our wedding ceremony was beautiful, and the party continued with dancing, singing, eating, drinking and playing into the wee hours of the morning (probably why our wake-up call failed to wake us up the next day).

The Day After

When we woke the next morning we faced the herculean task of organizing about 35 people who needed to get to various trains, planes and automobiles for their return home. Once they were on their way, it was then down to the 19 of us. That’s right, My new husband, myself, and the 17 of our nearest and dearest who would be joining us on our honeymoon. I know what you must be thinking. ARE YOU CRAZY! As a matter of fact I am. Mad as a hatter. Although It seemed like a good idea at the time…all those relatives spending so much money to come to Italy from North America and South America, how could we just abandon them and go off on our own? Without further ado we loaded our belongings into four rental cars and headed off for Termini Station (about 35 kilometers) to catch a train, then a taxi, then a ferry, then another taxi to our destination.  The ride to Termini was like something out of a 007 adventure but with 3 emergency stops along the way for gasoline, restroom visits, and to remove my slow driving father from behind the wheel. We made it to our train without a minute to spare, and just 8 hours later (prosciutto di Parma sliced off the bone to keep us nourished all the while) there we were, safe at our hotel in Lipari.

Aeolian Islands

Lipari is the main island of the Isole Aeolie, which lie between Calabria and Sicily. In his famous book “the Odyssey”, Homer wrote about the island Aeolia, which is believed to be the island of Lipari. We spent an unforgettable week exploring Lipari and the surrounding islands. The highlights of our not-so-intimate honeymoon in Lipari included:

A boat tour of the island group with stops at the white beaches for a swim from the boat before watching the eruptions of Stromboli lighting up the starlit sky.

Excursion to the island of Vulcano where we climbed the crater of this (stinky) volcano

Food. The food on these Sicilian Islands is out of this world. The capers are the size of grapes, fresh and delectable sardines, pasta dishes made with eggplant, fresh tomato and oven-baked ricotta.

Cannoli. Cannoli may be classified as food, but they deserve a line of their own.

When All Hell Breaks Loose

We were scheduled to leave the island to head back to reality on a Sunday. On Saturday afternoon, just as we had put out a cake and begun singing happy birthday to my dear old dad, the concierge at our hotel came running out to tell us that there was some stormy weather brewing in the Mediterranean. After that day, no ships would be allowed to sail to or from Lipari for several days. While there are worse things I can think of than being stranded in Lipari, friends and family had planes to catch and a few still had not done any sightseeing in Rome. Therefore, the only option for us was to pack all our things and make our way to the port to catch the last boat out of Lipari which would be leaving in approximately 20 minutes. I never saw anyone move as fast as we all did that day. We paid our room tabs, packed our things and were off in the blink of an eye.

We made it to the ship just before it departed, and the gracious ticket sales woman explained to us how we needed to pair up in groups of four for the cabins. Before I could count to four, everyone had sorted out with whom they would be spending the night on the ship, and who was left but me, my new husband, my mother, and my father. Who happen to be divorced. Talk about a happy ending for my big fat Italian Honeymoon.

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