Ad majorem dei gloriam

Nota bene

I was a keen writer in my youth, as a pupil at St. Mary's Hall preparatory school, Stonyhurst, and at the main college thereafter. Distractions from writing in a Jesuit boarding school between 1977 - 1985 were seldom, bar witch watching from St. Luke's dormitory window in winter (Pendle Hellian Society), and playing cricket for the 3rd, then 1st XI in summer.

In my early twenties, in the throes of cutting my teeth in the pre-internet music business, reviewing gigs was a hobby after work, a chance to network with established press darlings, the artists and record label leaders of the day. Since my early thirties i've written several hundred articles, all of which reside online. They cover football and football hooliganism in Rome, tours and the tourism effect on Rome, anything Rome.

Back in 2008, former editor of Metal Hammer and writer of more than a few fine claret and blue-tinged books about bubbles being blown around the Boleyn Ground, Signor Kirk Blows, no less, expressed an interest in collaborating with me on something to read about the Rome derby (which doesn't mean very much unless you live here). Random House were in touch. Six years down the line, I remember losing interest six years ago. Since then, Captain Kirk, to his eternal credit, has boldly gone where not many men have gone before. His "Hammered - Heavy Tales from the Hard Rock Highway", a motley extraction of bleary-eyed backstage memoirs with the likes of Metallica, Motorhead, Ozzy Osbourne, and other inebriated rockers.

I do not have time to write a book, besides, it takes me so long to draft and re-draft regulation articles that anything over 500 words would likely impact on my day job. If my responsibilities were reduced, would I find time to write 50,000 words? A short story, perhaps? Yes, of course.

Google tells me if what I write has been written before, if how I write is in some way wrong. Flow and cohesion of composition, idiomatic expressions, tip of the iceberg. If I feel that what I have written is not original or of an acceptable standard, Google's specific keyword search tool will spell it out for me. Excerpts I search for always appear either in part or in whole in books.google results. This exhibition of uniformity is a victory of sorts.

Green light? Time permitting, who knows? I would jump at the chance to write a book about the Geology and Geography of Battlefields in the Anzio Beachhead (where to find them, how to get access). The Shrine of Diana Nemorensis near Nemi would be a fascinating topic of research. I'm well placed to write an irreverent guide to Rome for Englishmen, and, going back a few decades, my memoirs of living on the edge of everything in the murky mire of early nineties Soho, London, has already been written in my mind. I just need a publisher who takes risks aplenty to scrape a meagre living. Perhaps a books.google result will bear my name, one day.

Laus deo semper.

Published on November 30th, 2014
© When In Rome Tours, article provided by Cajes.

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